Sue Trace Lawrence

Sue Lawrence is an Adjunct Professor of Psychology who began teaching at Ursinus in 2011. An alumna of Ursinus who graduated with a B.S. in psychology in 1983, she earned her M.Ed. and certification in School Counseling at West Chester University. At the present time she is working toward a graduate certificate in neuropsychology from Ball State University. While a student at Ursinus, she served as the teaching assistant for Experimental Psychology and earned Departmental Honors for her research on learned helplessness. In addition, her original sociology research was published in Pennsylvania Folklife. In addition to teaching psychology at UC and other colleges, Sue has worked as a counselor and educational consultant, along with holding teaching and administrative positions in early childhood programs. She is a certified PQAS trainer for the state of Pennsylvania and provides professional development trainings for early childhood and school age staff in her position as Assistant Childcare Director for the Pottstown Branch of the Philadelphia Freedom Valley YMCA. Sue has written and self-published a book of poems and short-stories in collaboration with her late brother entitled Sob Stories. Currently, Sue has been conducting original research with UC students on the topics of childhood loss, grief, and trauma. She is currently working on a children’s book on sibling loss and has published a handbook for adults entitled Turning the Page: Helping a Child Cope with the Loss of a Sibling. Her future research interests lie in further exploring how early childhood traumatic grief experiences influence children into adulthood.

Articles:

After a Sibling Loss: Signs Not to be Ignored

After a sibling loss, it’s natural for a child of any age to experience grief in some form. So what should parents consider a sign of trouble for the child after the sibling’s death? What could be seen as symptoms of mental illness? Below is not an exhaustive list, but it suggests common clues often seen in a child who is suffering emotionally, socially, and psychologically. Signs Not To Be Ignored Expressing statements or presenting behaviors that imply threats to harm self or others. Extreme social withdrawal, to the point of isolation despite the attempts of family and friends to […]

Common Reactions to Sibling Loss

Common Reactions to Sibling Loss What are the most common reactions to sibling loss? How do siblings react at different stages of childhood? Here are some generalities: Reactions Among Infants These children may be too young to know the specifics of the tragedy, but they can pick up cues from people around them. Babies can sense that something is different in their environment. Parents who care for them appear distant and upset. Adults may stop interacting with them. The baby experiences less security; their needs may not be fully met. The baby is learning that what once was a happy […]

Fear After Sibling Loss

Fear After Sibling Loss Fear is commonplace in children after a sibling’s death. Many times, the surviving child may not state their fear directly, but an astute parent can detect this emotion in statements such as these: I don’t want to go to school. Please keep the light on for me at night. Can I sleep in your room/bed? Turn off the TV; I don’t want to watch that show. Is Daddy going to be OK on his trip? Don’t go to the store, Mommy! Can I come with you when you run your errands? Where is my old teddy […]

Sadness After Sibling Loss

Sadness After Sibling Loss When a loved one dies, everyone expects the family to experience sadness. Sadness has become a synonym for grief, but the truth is, grief is usually comprised of many mixed emotions. The most prevalent of these are the aforementioned guilt and anger. One of the reasons these two become so strong is due to our society’s labeling of these as “bad” emotions. It is acceptable to be heartbroken that your sibling is gone, but if a child makes statements related to self-centeredness or resentment, he or she is made to feel guilty. Even unhappiness can become […]

Anger after a Sibling Loss

Anger after a Sibling Loss When a child loses a sibling, the surviving child may be overwhelmed by anger. As with guilt, anger can be conscious or unconscious and is evident in thoughts like the following: I am mad at my sibling for messing up my life. My parents should have protected my brother. My mom and dad should be there for me. God shouldn’t have let this happen to my family. The doctors and nurses weren’t good enough to fix my sister. My friends don’t understand and aren’t there for me. My family should have included me more in […]

Role of Guilt in Sibling Loss

How Guilt Shows Itself More than any other emotion, guilt arguably dominates the mental life of a sibling who losing a sibling. This guilt can take many forms, depending on the relationship between the siblings and the manner of death. Siblings can feel responsible and place blame on themselves, sometimes irrationally. Common thoughts reflecting this self-blame include: I am older, so I should have been the protector. Why didn’t I go first? I was sick, too, so why didn’t I die? I shouldn’t have thought those mean things about my sister. I should have been nicer and not fought the […]

Sibling Loss in Childhood is Trauma

Is Sibling Loss a Trauma? One phenomenon inherent in the popularizing of psychology over the last few decades has been the incorporation of “buzzwords” into our lexicon. An example is the use of the term “trauma.” This term is used frequently by both the media and lay people in everyday conversation to describe a variety of experiences. We state that someone has been “traumatized” by various situations. But what specifically does that mean? What differentiates a truly traumatizing experience from a merely unpleasant one? Most present-day psychologists would admit that there is no definitive answer to this dilemma, and that […]

When Siblings Die Young

When Siblings Die Young Many decades ago, there was a little girl who had a wonderful life. She lived comfortably, with two parents who adored her, a younger brother she could boss around, two equally doting sets of grandparents, a great-grandmother who thought she could do no wrong, and a great aunt who was captivated by her. Too young to realize her family was not rich, she lived in a cozy house with her own room. The girl loved animals and music, and her favorite toys were the plastic and stuffed animals she collected. Never having been away from home […]

Grief Loves Company: After a Sibling-Loss

Losing a Sibling is Unique Losing a sibling is different from other losses. At times I find myself becoming extremely nostalgic, and it is difficult not having a cohort with whom to share childhood memories. On some level, we know and expect that our older relatives will leave us eventually. However, our brothers and sisters are the connection between the child we were and the adult we become. They know the good and the not-so-good details about us, and if we are lucky, they love us anyway. They are part of our childhood frame of reference. Losing them hurts any […]

Sibling Survivors Need Connection

Being a sibling survivor can make one feel like an alien at times. There may be a classroom full of students who are dealing with a divorce at home. But chances are poor that others are coping with the death of a brother or sister. It is a relatively small club. That is a good thing of course, but it can force the remaining siblings to alienate themselves, which is not advantageous to a child. Through my writing, I hope to remind fellow survivors that others exist who have been in the same unenviable shoes and have managed to march […]

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